Family vacations are important.

If you’re working at a church that can’t survive without the pastor for a week or two, then you’re working at the wrong church.

If you’ve led your staff or congregation to constantly need you, then you haven’t done a good job of leading your church.

It’s absolutely necessary that you spend time with your family.

You need to plan and save for this expense, and not feel guilty when the time comes.  You may be committed to paying every free cent to your mortgage, but this doesn’t excuse a Scrooge-mentality when it comes to your family.

Pastor, don’t sacrifice your family for the sake of the ministry.

If you have a growing church but your kids don’t know you (or Jesus), you won’t feel like a success in the end.

Plan and budget for vacations with your family.

Don’t let a finance committee, church member, or the calendar keep you from spending time and money on what really matters.

Where are you going on vacation this year?

Tired leaders are everywhere.

Actually, it’s a badge of honor to be tired in a lot of circles.  I am constantly around people that talk about the long hours, lack of sleep, & crazy travel schedules.

Here is the deal:  I used to be one of these guys that bragged about how hard I worked.  And, I was prideful enough to believe that it impressed others.

THE TRUTH: I was dumb and it was hurting me and the people closest to me. 

When tired, we operate out of an exhausted brain.  As I have read & studied, the brain will shift into a “fight or flight” state when we are exhausted.  This means that we will lead through reaction & instinct, instead of wisdom & sound decision-making.  As we become more tired we:

• Learn less – A tired brain doesn’t learn very well
• Overreact – A tired brain makes things a big deal that shouldn’t be
• Under react – A tired brain makes us “not care” about things we should care about
• Get angry quicker – A tired brain decreases patience & will operate out of anger
• Become afraid – A tired brain will create massive amounts of fear that things are falling apart when they really aren’t
• Feel increased desires to escape – A tired brain leads to overeating, over drinking, & sexual temptations
• Deflate our self worth – A tired brain makes us feel like we aren’t any good or worth anything
• Withdraw – A tired brain tells us to withdraw from our family, friends, & team emotionally
• Criticize – A tired brain makes us see things more negatively

Want to know the real me? 

I’m writing this post not as an expert on how to not be exhausted, but as a work in progress.

When I was on staff at a church, I literally got so exhausted by the pace that I would sit in the bathroom stalls on Sunday mornings so I wouldn’t have to talk with people. I also went to the Emergency Room three times, thinking I was having a heart attack.  It ended up being panic attacks due to exhaustion & emotional immaturity.  Many of my other friends were experiencing the same thing and we just thought it was normal to be stressed and exhausted all the time.  I remember being so EMOTIONALLY SICK that I would wake up at 5AM to email staff members so they would see I was up really early working.  That is SO STUPID, but I was trapped.  I was into impressing people above me because I was CRAVING approval.

The Turning Point…

I remember driving to the airport one time with my wife and having to pull off the side of the road because I was having a panic attack.  My wife looked at me & basically told me a STRONG, STRONG, STRONG TRUTH I needed to hear.  She spoke into my life about getting healthy because it was hurting our family.  I was sick & needed help.  I never thought being an exhausted leader was a sickness, but it is.  The people closest to you get hurt the most.

The following are the steps I’ve taken to reduce exhaustion in my life.  I’m NOT perfect at this, but I am growing and getting better.

1. I Go To Counseling 

I believe every leader should go to counseling. Counseling creates a safe environment for you to share your life.  Counselors can help you see WHY you are doing what you are doing.  Most of the time, we try to deal with the symptoms & never get down to the root issues.

My counselor helped me realize that above everything else I want to be wanted & liked.  

I realized the reason WHY I was leading on empty was 100% because I wanted everyone to like me.  I had no limits or boundaries and wouldn’t ever tell people no.  Counseling has literally saved my marriage, family & organizations.

Quit being a wuss and get to counseling now

2. I’m Taking A Sabbatical 

I’m taking five weeks off this summer with ZERO connection to technology.  I’m not sure how this will go, but I feel like it will create a breeding ground for growth.   I believe getting away for a long period of time will help me realize that the world will be just fine without Casey Graham.

3. I Changed My Definition Of Failure

I used to believe I was a failure if something I did failed.  This is NOT true.  I changed my definition of failure to this:

If I learn something, I haven’t failed.

Some lessons are tough, but it takes the pressure off me to try to be perfect.  With my personality, I want to start a lot of things and the temptation is to want them ALL to work.  The best way to relieve the pressure of trying to be perfect is to be honest when you fail, even if it’s just apologizing or admitting things didn’t work.  It’s exhausting to try and NEVER fail!  Failing helps you stay human & reduce pride.

4. I Turned Off Notifications On My Phone

This sounds shallow, but really helps.  The reason you get exhausted is because the brain isn’t turned off. Disengaging from work is impossible if you are connected to social media & your phone 24/7. Just turning off any notifications or sound on your phone can help.  It did for me.

5. I Hired A Trainer

Having a physical trainer is one of the most important decisions I’ve made on my journey from living an exhausted life.  Working out and running literally makes every part of my life better.  The reason I hired a trainer is for accountability.  Having someone show up at my doorstep at 7AM ensures I’m working out!

6. I Work On Stuff I Am Good At

The reason I was so exhausted on church staff was because I was MANAGING stuff instead of leading stuff.  Managing people, budgets, volunteers and day-to-day stuff is NOT what I’m good at.  I need to be creating.  God gifted me to create great stuff.  If I’m not creating a blog post, business, ministry, idea, song, or something, I will die. Yes, I will literally die slowly.

When we do stuff that drains us for long periods of time, it creates defeat and exhaustion.  You might be thinking, “Yeah, but I’m the only one that can do this.” Well… That’s not true.  I used to believe that.  The reality is, there are many people that can do what you think only you can do.  You HAVE to let go! Usually you have to find a volunteer or hire someone to help you. PAY THE MONEY for that assistant or staff position; it’s worth it.

This post was super long, but I just wanted to share my journey in hopes it will help you realize that exhaustion isn’t cool.

There was a time when people gave using items they grew or raised, like goats, vegetables, or grain. Then one day, someone had a great idea: Sell all my crops for money. They went to church with cash and asked if they could give. It was a quandary, but churches will always take cash – and they did.

Today, people want to be able to give in new ways. Cash and checks have been replaced with debit and credit cards, but churches are still resistant to the idea of digital giving. Don’t get left behind when it comes to giving! Implement a digital giving strategy that will grow your church’s budget and engage people in new ways.

This month, we’re coaching all of our Giving Rocket members in the area of digital giving.  If you’ve been thinking about jumping in, this is the time to do it.

Click here to give Giving Rocket a trial run for only $1.

Surf wisely.
Get more money for ministry.
Sign up today for your $1 Trial Membership!

With less than 3% of Christians tithing, are believers really going into debt from digital giving?

This seems very unlikely with many churches seeing contributions decrease while consumer debt continues to increase.  Have you ever heard someone say, “I’ve given my way into debt!” It’s not likely that people will increase their debt by giving money to their church via credit cards. If anything, they have spent money on themselves, increasing their debt, while never giving to the church.

Don’t buy into the lie.  Digital giving does not increase personal debt.

This month’s member success story was chosen specifically to prove how effective the resources, available to our members, actually are.  This church saw tremendous results  ONE MONTH into their membership!  The key here was that they USED the resources we made available.  Now they are reaping the benefits of having money to fund important ministries in their church! Check this out…

Dale Schaeffer BridgeWay Community Church, Morton, IL

 From: Dale Schaeffer
 Date: Mon, Mar 5, 2012 at 9:32 PM
 Subject: Thank you!
To: Casey Graham 

“Casey,

Hey man just wanted to say thank you for what you and the team at Giving Rocket are doing.  

After thinking about joining Giving Rocket several times over past month, we finally pulled the trigger at the Chicago Giving Rocket Tour stop two weeks ago.  After just two Sundays I’m blown away by the results.

We were inspired on the Tour to share with our church in a giving talk where their money goes when they give.  The next Sunday was the final Sunday of our fiscal year so we decided to create a 4 page Annual Report to share with everyone who attended the next Sunday.  We created it on Wednesday and had it back from the printer on Friday.  Then passed them out on Sunday.  We took the “Where the Money Goes” giving talk and updated it for our situation and applied it to the Annual Report we’d printed.  At the close of our worship experiences, before the offering, we took 4 minutes to celebrate what God had done in the past year, where their giving went, and challenged everyone to be a part of what God was going to do in the next 12 months.

We usually average around $6,500 per week in our offering.  Our previous highest regular offering was $8,994.  This past Sunday, with no special giving emphasis, we received $13,059.15 in un-designated giving!  I think it’s safe to say, I wish we’d joined Giving Rocket months ago.  The giving talks alone, with a little local creativity, are worth the price of membership.

Thanks again for what you and your team are doing!

Dale

PS…I attached the annual report that we put together so you could see how simple what we did really was….the whole thing was designed off of the giving talk outline you guys provided.”

We hope that this story gets you FIRED UP enough to take action! If you haven’t become a member yet, there’s no greater time than now to do it! For $1, one month’s time and a little effort on your part, you too can see results like this.

Dale has given us permission to share not only his story, but the annual report they handed out to the congregation.  Click –> here <— to download the file.

Here are three great churches with great online giving pages.

Check out Church of the King.  I love how they give a simple tutorial and use video to show people exactly what to do.

Saddleback Church has a great online giving portal. Notice how they give people the option of making recurring contributions or making a one-time gift.

If you expect LifeChurch.tv to have a great online giving page, you are right.  This is probably my favorite giving page because it’s so clear.  I love how they give users the opportunity to create an account but give quickly via PayPal.  A lot of people have PayPal accounts (with “extra” money sitting in them) so this is a fantastic option.  Their page also does a super job of answering questions and showing where the money goes.

Making your website donor-friendly is just one component of creating a digital giving strategy for your church.  This is something we’re talking about for the next few weeks with our Giving Rocket members.  Jump in now, and you can grab a ton of resources.

We have been asked for a long time, “What should I send people who give to my church to show we appreciate them?”

Well, after looking for a good solution, we decided to create it:

What Happens When You Give
Quick facts:

1. It’s personalized (thank you note included)

2. It’s inexpensive (under $3 per family)

3. It’s inspirational (44 page booklet people will actually read)

Check out the video of the kit NOW!

We highly recommend that you appreciate your donors and we think this is a great way to do just that.

Get Fired Up!

P.S. FREE shipping on our new Giver Appreciation Kit this month. Grab a case!

Every month, we send 4-5 brand new and professionally written Giving Talk scripts to our members.  Some turn them into videos.  Some hand them to volunteers.  Some use them as inspiration to write their own.

A Giving Talk is a 2-minute set-up of the offering, and it’s one of the most important times in your service.  As you get ready for Easter, we wanted to give you a FREE Giving Talk that’s perfect to introduce the offering (and the reason you do it) to all the guests who will attend your church on Easter.

Fill out the short form and a PDF will arrive in your inbox.

After talking to hundreds of pastors, we’ve realized that while preachers love preaching, it’s the preparation that often hurts.  So we’re going “behind the scenes” with some of America’s best preachers to find out how they bring great content, week in and week out.

Would you like to hear how Andy Stanley, Perry Noble, Dr. Charles Stanley, Louie Giglio, and Vanable Moody prepare their messages?  How would you like to learn communication principles from one of America’s best comedians…Jeff Foxworthy?

All of this happens this Thursday, March 15 at 1pm EST.  And best of all, it’s 100% free.  Preach Better Sermons is a free, three-hour, online conference focused on helping communicators prepare and deliver messages that matter.  Some of the best communicators in the world will unpack these seven preaching principles.

1. Start with the Scripture.
2. Keep it simple.
3. Make it portable.
4. Show it, don’t just say it.
5. Find common ground.
6. Finish early in the week.
7. Preach with the end in mind.

It’s 100% free, and since it happens online, there are no travel costs.  Register for the free event here.